A Geek Girl's Favorite Things

Every year Oprah puts out a list of her favorite things and sends retailers and O fans into a tizzy as they all rush to keep up with the supply and demand of products blessed by Oprah herself. I can't help but feel like Oprah and I don't have a whole lot in common (crazy right?) and that some of her favorite things aren't really geared towards the likes of a Geek Girl such as myself. So I decided to put together a list of my favorite things that Oprah may want to consider next year (no pressure!). Consider these for your next "Treat Yo-self" day or as gift ideas for your favorite geek. Nobody is paying me to thumbs up this stuff (you can if you want, I'm not stopping you) so here is my unbiased list of Favorite Things:

Geek Magazine
Nothing quite like having a magazine to casually flip through while your e-reader is charging. Unlike most other magazines I probably read most if not all of the articles in this one. There's something for every shade of geek and nerd out there.

Ultra Sabers

In case you haven't heard, there's a new Star Wars movie coming out. Just a little indie film... no biggie.... Anyhow, if you have been fangirl frothing at the mouth since you saw the first teaser trailer you know that having your own lightsaber is a MUST. I got my first Ultrasaber at Dragon Con several years ago and marveled at the selection of hilts and blade colors to choose from. They custom made it for me right there and when I finally got it in my hot little hands it was all I could do to not swing it around and make the noise I've been making since I was a little girl dueling my brother with wrapping paper tubes. 

My original Ultra Saber!

Amazon Echo
Turning on your lights by hand is so 2014. And looking outside to check the weather? Pffft. Alexa, as she is named, is a total indulgence but I love her so. She tells me Trump jokes and has witty retorts when I ask her for "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot". She plays my music and apologizes when I get mad at her for not being able to answer my questions. I can't hold it against her for long though, when she dims the lights and we watch Walking Dead all is forgiven.

"What We Do In The Shadows"

Is a movie really a "thing"? Anyhow, this mockumentary about vampire flatmates in New Zealand was frikkin brilliant and for the first time in years I saw a movie at the theater more than once. Get the DVD, download it, whatever it takes, but watch this movie because it is hilarious and is spawning a sequel that I'm going to do a little dance for.

Google Cardboard
If you can't wait for an Oculus Rift or don't have that kind of budget then get yourself one of these for WAY cheaper. It turns your smartphone into a VR simulator and there are all kinds of apps to make you dizzy or scare the crap out of you. My favorite was the Insidious 3 trailer made for VR. It's a lot of fun watching people experience it too.

Experiencing another world via carboard

Vegan Doc Martens
People are REALLY surprised to find out these aren't real leather, they're by far the best looking faux leather shoes I've come across. There are also patterned canvas boots as well as velvet that are all cruelty-free.


Custom Converse Sneakers 
Speaking of shoes... I generall flip from Docs to Chucks depending on the season, what can I say- I'm not a strappy sandal/ spike heel kinda lady. When the zombie apocalypse happens I'll be ready to outrun the girls teetering in platform shoes! Anyhow, you can customize your own Chucks from eyelets to canvas pattern, to the stitching color. In the grads scheme of womens' shoes these aren't too badly priced for some one-of-a-kind shoes.

LED Light Strips

I'm big on having no regualr lightbulb action going on for my Halloween parties and LED light strips have been an incredible way to make my parties really stand out. They are adhesive and pretty sturdy, come in all colors, and give off an excellent glow. If you really want to up the ante on your next party then just get a few of these and put them under tables or chair rails for a really cool effect.

BerkshireSweet Gold Maple Syrup
If you want to taste some nectar of the gods this stuff is as close as you're going to get. Waffle Sundays wouldn't be complete without a set of these syrups that go from light to dark, each their own little blissful flavor. My mother was using "maple flavored" syrup in a plastic squeeze bottle until I got her some of this for Xmas and she'll never go back.

There's A Map For That Necklace
Again, ModCloth. I know sometimes the clothes and shoes are hit or miss because of sizing but jewelry will always fit. If you want a statement piece that won't break the bank or be too blingy this one is pretty cool. I wear it to work pretty often (seeing as we make maps) and get lots of compliments.


Mountain Majesty Coat
This is by far the prettiest coat I own (as well as the most expensive). It's so elegant though and I get so many compliments on it. It's also nice and heavy, I'm pretty sure if I fell off a dock while wearing it I'd sink like a stone. Even if it's not available anymore ModCloth has the coolest coats and jackets of anywhere I've looked.

Ready to get my swing on

Horrible Adorables
Forget real taxidermy, that's just plain creepy. These are colorful, whimsical critters made of felt and I can't help but buy one every year that she shows up at the local craft show.


Spaghetti Kiss T-Shirts
My boyfriend has some of these in multiples and he is constantly asked where he got them. They're very cool and subtle designs in robots and sea creatures, a little something for everyone.

Patrick Stewart approved!

Claymonster Pottery
Another artist I'm constantly hitting up at craft shows. All of her pieces make me smile and they've made great gifts that always get a good laugh. I've probably gotten one of everything for myself at this point (soap dispensers, spoon rests, cookie jars, etc.) and am going to need to get a larger home so I can expand my monsters.



Tanner Gallery Paintings
When we were wandering New Orleans on a trip a few years ago we came across this Gallery and just loved the depth and haunting qualities to his paintings of forest scenes that are layered in progressively darker or lighter shades. Maybe Oprah can get herself an original but we settled for some prints which I still stop and look at fairly often.


Sticky Fingers Cookbook
For those that aren't lucky enough to live near Sticky Fingers Bakery in DC you can get fat in your own home with this cookbook full of baked goods (vegan!) that have done battle on "Cupcake Wars" and won. I bribe coworkers with cakes from this cookbook and I now have people fighting over who wants to do my crapwork so they can pick out a cake for me to bake.

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag
This was originally a joke product for April Fools day but I guess enough people (like yours truly) are "foolish" enough to want one REALLY badly. I zip myself in this on the couch in the winter with my dog buried in next to me and delight that it doesn't smell bad on the inside OR outside. Think Geek actually has more amazing stuff than I can list so just trust me and do all your Xmas shopping there.

Starla keeping the tauntaun warm for me

Tideline Salvage
Rats, Bats, and Vultures! This guy makes art with pieces of nature that he's scavenged and used to pay honor to much maligned creatures by making him the centerpieces of his art. I haven't got it in me to get one of his "roaches" made of shells but I've got several vultures, a rat, a bat, and a face on the shell of a horseshoe crab that I think are all just lovely.


Aerial Yoga
I am not an athletic girl (obviously) so I prefer the solo forms of work out that are the opposite of CrossFit and Soul Cycle. I decided to give aerial yoga a try on vacation since I do yoga at home and I'd heard the aerial version is great for those of us who aren't rubber jointed and have bad backs. I. LOVED. IT. Not only did I get a better stretch but it was actually pretty fun and took me back to my monkeybar days. Unfortunately the local studio uses the "silks" which dig into me pretty painfully but the studio I went to in Florida used more of a parachute type material and had handle straps. One day I will have a home where I can hang one of these without breaking the ceiling of kicking the TV...

Aerial yoga with a bad back

Bruce Campbell's "If Chins Could Kill"
I love me some Evil Dead/ Army of Darkness and with "Ash vs Evil Dead" on Starz I recently pulled out my autographed copy of this book to flip through again. If you have ever wanted to know what it's like to be Bruce Campbell then you might as well go to the horse's mouth. He is pretty groovy.


"Harpo Speaks!" by Harpo Marx
I have read this book several times in my life and I will likely read it several more. If you have any interest in the Algonquin Roundtable crowd, old Hollywood, or just enjoy some good storytelling then I highly recommed this book. Harpo Marx was the silent brother often overshadowed by Groucho but wow, when he puts words to page I just couldn't get enough. Through Harpo I found so much more to read about and my romance with the film, literature, and arts of the early 20th century began.

"Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers"
Mary Roach has written some of the most obscure yet interesting as hell books I've ever read. Stiff remains my absolute favorite and I find myself recommending it and immediately following it with "no, no, I swear its really good!". If going to see the "Bodies" exhibit doesn't make you squirm so much as lean in fascinated them check out this book about all the amazing things you could do after death. Yeah its a little macabre but I guarantee you'll be much more engrossed in this book than any science lesson you had in school.


Fantastic Plastic
These little suckers are pretty handy for a crafter. You heat them up in water and they're ready to be squished together and molded into just about anything. I've used them to cast prosthetic molds, make little additions to my niece's dollhouse, and frankly it's fun to play with. It hardens within 10 minutes and its reusable if you make a mistake so what's not to love?

Used FP on molding clay impressions to create bites made of latex

Rolling Makeup Case

This case has been perfect for storing all my FX makeup essentials from brushes to latex to my air brush and molding clay. It may not be the sturdiest case out there but for the amateur ghoul-makers out there it gets you what you need without emptying your wallet on a hobby.

Ben Nye Makeup
I first started using Ben Nye products in my college theater days and it had maintained my loyalty ever since. It just does not budge and they have a little bit of everything whether you're going for FX or something dramatic for a photoshoot. I even used it on my cousin for her outdoor wedding in the disgusting Florida heat. Despite a 110 heat index and lots of dancing she didn't look like a melted raccoon during the reception. Ben Nye saved the day!

A little nose wax coverd and blended with basic Ben Nye makeup

Bee Folks Hand Cream
My skin cracks and flakes from the constant purell use at work and scrubbing the paint and glue off my hands at home. This beeswax based cream is thick, smells great, and works amazingly well. I even smear it on my face in the winter because my delicate Florida skin can't take the cold air. Looking pretty good for my age and I'm going to go ahead and attribute that to this stuff.

Dazzle Dry and LVX Nail Polishes
I always love funky color nail polishes but they would inevitably chip and peel until I looked like I'd been working a street corner for too long. I got samples of the toxin and cruelty free polishes and holy manicure Batman! I can go about a week with nails that don't look like a middle schoolers when I use the Dazzle Dry base coat and LVX polish and top coat. And I craft, am clumsy, and constantly use my nails to peel off apple stickers. And the colors are pretty fantastic too, I've slowly been amassing a decent selection. So if you're like me and prefer to paint your own nails on Sunday nights before Walking Dead then I can't recommend these brands enough

So there you have it, some of Geek Girl Friday's favorite things. Not quite on Oprah's level but at least geared more towards those (like me) that couldn't find anything on Oprah's list they were dying to put on their own Christmas list.

Making Dragon Wings (For a Dog)

Apparently my dog costume making skills preceded me and I was approached with a challenge of making dragon wings (Game of Thrones style but adaptable for a cream and rose princess dress if the 2 y/o human counterpart refused to dress as Dany) for an Italian greyhound. My original thought was cellophane like the bee wings but I needed something more leathery looking and lightweight. After a little online scouting I saw that Modge Podge actually dried into a flexible material that had a bit of a leathery texture to it. I did a small test wing with some wire and a little bit of paint in the Modge Podge. I could definitely work with that! So if you want to make your own little dragon this year I’ve laid out my final process after some trial and error.

What You’ll Need:

Thick florist wire

White florist tape

Modge Podge (I went with the Antique Matte finish)

2 sheets of felt that match your dog’s fur color (more if you have a medium or large sized dog)

1 sheet of craft foam

About 18 inches of Velcro

Faux fur, marabou boa, or some scaly looking fabric

Making the Wing Frame

I played with several wing designs and settle on one that was more organic than the cartoonish, the spokes acting as fingers. I wanted to have a solid wing with no breaks at the joint so I used a single piece of wire for this design. The first end was one of the 2 middle spokes, I bent it back down to make the outer spoke then doubled back all the way to the base of the wing "arm" where i left some extra to form a base, doubled back again and finished the other inner spoke. The wire never crossed over itself and it gave the outside edge a good thickness for strength.

Using the florist wire pulled taunt I wrapped the wires tightly starting at the base then worked towards the middle where I secured the intersections of the wires as tightly and securely as possible. Then I made my way down each spoke, doubling back and thickening the "palm" of the wing. When the tape overlaps tightly it gives it some texture and looks like the leg of a bird.

                                     

I decided to make a little thumb by rolling up some of the florist tape and then securing it to the palm of the wing by wrapping the loose end several times until it blended well. This way its a soft thumb and not a wire edge that could snag or poke.

                                                       

If you want the bones of your wing to be a different color than the webbing now is when you paint them. It's a lot easier than trying to paint them after. Once your wings are dry lay them out as flast possible on a nonstick surface, I used a cheap a craft mat. 

                                     

Filling in the Wings

Pour some of your Modge Podge into a cup and add paint color unless you want your wings clear. **Do not paint afterwards** The paint will crack, especially when you shape the wings. Pour inbetween the spokes and spread it out with a paint brush making sure to push it under the spokes so there are no gaps. Brush it out as evenly as possible, making sure it isn't too thick and avoiding covering the spokes.

                                     

It's going to take a day or so to dry completely so just leave it out of the way and don't mess with it. 

                                                     

Once dry you can carefully peel it off the mat and inspect it for thin spots by holding it up to the light. Also check for gaps under the spokes you might've missed. I did an additional thin coat of the Modge Podge paint mixture on both sides just to make sure it was evenly opaque. The webbing started to pucker and warp when I did, which I actually liked, but it dried and flattened back out.

                                                     

Wait again for it the wings to dry. During this time I highly suggest you make another Modge Podge mix with paint the color of the bones to fix any little mistakes and seal it. You can also painted lines for the spokes on the underside of the wings otherwise the color of the spokes won't show through

.

Making the Vest

This part is copied from my Spider Dog tutorial. The vest can be shorter for the the dragon wings and the lovely thing about felt is you can cut and glue where you need to expand or take it in without much fuss. 

Start by hot gluing the two pieces of felt together at the ends with a small seam.

Take a piece of clothing that fits your dog snuggly and trace it out onto the felt. I used a raincoat that laid flat with 2 points of attachment- one across the chest and one under the torso. Wherever there need to be more felt I just took a scrap and glued it to the edge.

Use velcro for the attachment points and Cut out the arm hole.

                                                     

Making the Wing Base

I prefer to make the wings detachable from the vest but if you don't mind it being all one piece I'll throw in some alternate directions.

Cut two matching rectangular pieces of foam, about 6x 3 inches, and round the corners. Bewtween 1/3rd and 1/2 way down is where you're going to glue the wing bases on the first piece of foam.**If you aren't going to make your wings detachable then cut two slits in your felt where the wings will go and thread the bases through before the next step** I snipped mine so they fit in with each other and then just piled on the hot glue so they wouldn't move. With your 2nd piece of foam estimate the point where the wings bases are and make two long cuts up to those points. This will cover up your mound of glue and add some extra stability.

                                      

Hot glue the two pieces of foam together once you have them lined up properly.

                                     

**If you are not making your piece detachable and its threaded through the vest then you can glue the top of the foam to the inside of the vest.** To attach the wings to the vest add 2 lengthwise strips of velcro to the underside of your foam sheet base. Line up the other halves of the velcro on the back of the vest and you are good to go.

Covering the Wing Base

To cover up the bases this is where you'd add the fur, marabou, or scaly type of material. You can just cover the base or go all out and cover the whole vest, whatever floats your boat! I decided to justmake a strip of fur going down this dragon's back since I wasn't sure if this dog would be comforatble with a lot going on. I cut a piece of faux fur slightly wider than the foam base and long enough to go from his neck to past the vest. I glued the edge to the underside of the vest neck so the hair would stand up a bit.

                                                        

I pulled the fur back to the wing bases and cut a couple slits in from the side for the wings to come through.

                                                       

I also decided to taper the back so I drew out my cut lines and cut the fabric part ONLY. Don't cut the fur, it'll just look choppy.

                                                       

Once pulled over the wings you can leave it or add some velcro to keep it from shifting. 

The Final Product

Shaping the wings is pretty easy, I arched mine out and closed them in a bit so the webbing wasn't pulled flat. Play around, you'll find what works best. I made these for a dog I hadn't met so I don't like that I didn't get the vest coloring closer and I should probably tighten up the chest attachment with some more velcro. Other than that I think it looks pretty good and he did really with them on, a few shakes didn't loosen anything and the wings held strong as he walked around the store. I'm glad I made them detachable because it's a lot easier to keep his vest on and just pull the wings off when he heads for narrow spaces that could bend or possibly tear them. He's set for Halloween regardless of whether he accompanies a fairy princess or Daenerys Targaryen down the street for trick or treating. I think this process would work well for wings of any size with just some changes to wire gauge. Overall I consider it a success!

Making a Chihua-Bee Dog Costume

I went on a Halloween crafting rampage over the long week and finished a couple dog costumes sure to entertain people and humiliate dogs.  Abbey the Bee will be reluctantly joining Starla the Spider this year. Starla rocked her spider costume so well last Halloween she’s going to bring it again! Abbey is kind of yellow and has big eyes so of course I had to make her AbBEE. Because her coloring works for the stripes I came up with a design that only uses black stripes to alternate with her gold fur. If you have a black dog that you want to give yellow stripes just reverse the colors in my directions. 

What You’ll Need:

Thick silver florist wire

Hot glue

1-2 length of black marabou  

Iridescent cellophane

Jumbo black pipe cleaners (about 4 ft worth)

1-2 sheets of black felt

1 sheet of tan felt (or what matches your dog’s fur color)

1 sheet of craft foam (any color)

Velcro strips

** (all can be found at a craft store like Michaels)

Making the Stripes

Abbey ended up with four black stripes because she has a fairly long body so depending on your dog you might need one more or less. I made each about an inch wide so measure your dog from the neck (first stripe) down the back to where you want your last black stripe to be, just in front of the back leg crease. Every other inch will be a black stripe.

Now that you now where each black stripe will go, measure the circumference of your dog’s torso in those places.

Cut 1 inch lengths of felt to each length and lay them out in order and the right distance apart (about an inch).

 For the stripes to be fuzzy you’ll just glue lengths of marabou on the felt with minimal amounts of hot glue and go all the way around.

Putting the Stripes Together

Next you’ll make the connector that will run down the chest and belly. For female dogs you’ve got a bit more length but for males you’re going to have to stop short just below the chest and angle the stripes so they’ll arch over the back of your dog more.

Measure from the top edged of your first black strip to the bottom edge of your last. Cut 2 identical lengths of your tan felt to length, they should be a little bit wider than the width of your Velcro.

Cut Velcro to the same length and glue them to the two pieces of tan felt. Go ahead and Velcro them together so it’s easier to work with.

You want your stripes to go the whole way around so line up the ends of one side of your black stripes and glue them ON TOP of the tan felt so the edges are flush.

Remember the lengths are probably different so the other ends aren’t going to line up the same way. Instead, glue each and to the underside of your velcroed connector piece lined up with the ends that went across the top. They don’t need to go the whole way across like on the top so just glue the edges.

If your connector piece is short for your male dog then just angle back the last stripe and set it closer to the previous stripe.

Try it on your dog with the front legs going between the first and second stripe.

Adding the Legs

For the legs decide which 3 stripes the legs will come from. After checking out some bee anatomy diagrams I chose the neck stripe and the next two stripes leaving the back one free. I suggest that the legs come out higher than their sides so they don’t drag and will be long enough to have some movement.

Take one of your jumbo pipe cleaners, cut to at least a foot long. You'll make 2 bends with center part curved to fit your dog’s back shape. The rest you can bend around the front of the stripe and work with to get a good leg shape.

On the underside of the stripes, glue the center section to back center of your stripe onto the felt. 

Making the Wings 

You need to decide the shape of your wings, if you google bee wings you'll find all sorts of ways to do it. Bees tend to have double sets of wings but I didn't want to get to bulky so I decided on a single wing on each side. You'll use your florist wire to to make a V shape for each wing and then bend them to shape the top and bottom edges. Doing both at the same time will help to ensure they are symmetrical. The ends won't meet, you'll just have a raw endge of your cellophane there instead.

LIGHTLY start a line of glue on the wire for your first wing on the underside only.

The glue might be set by the time you finish but that's ok. Lay you wire flay with the glue facing up and put the cellophane over it.

Use the tip of your hot glue gun to gently press the cellophane into the glue, remelting it in the process.

Use a razor or scissors to cut as close to the edges as possible. Leave plenty of cellophane on your open end for now.

To make the delicate designs of the wings use your hot glue gun to  draw the lines on the underside (wire side) of the wings. Be careful not to drag the tip of your glue gun on the cellophane or you'll melt it. When you're done you can cut the open end to fit with your wing pattern.

**IMPORTANT: Remember when you start your other wing to transpose it so you don't end up with 2 left wings! (I learned this the hard way because I was watching TV while crafting and not paying close enough attention)

Attaching the Wings

I prefer to have the accoutrements like wings or big spider legs seperate from base of the costume. Being able to detach the wings makes life a lot easier incase your dog is having none of and needs a break from the wings. Plus, if your wings get torn up it's easier to just make a new set of wings than a whole costume again.

Get your wings into the position you'll want them with the bases as close together as you can get. Take a strip of velcro, just a few inches wide, and glue it to the wire frame at the base (not the cellophane, it will melt and warp).

The other side of the velcro will be on the underside of the neck stripe so position your wings base between the front legs and glue down the other side of the velcro directly to the felt/ pipe cleaners. 

The more comfortable your dog is the longer the costume will be tolerated. To ensure your dog doesn't have the wires rubbing into their back I would suggest adding a strip of felt over the underside, again using hot glue only on the wire. 

Adding Antennae

This is optional since your dog may not really tolerate something against the top of their head. My dogs have big bat ears so hoods are not going to work for them. I decided to make a piece that juts out over her head for the antennae base instead.

Cut a rectangular piece of foam and rounded one end. Trace that shape onto the tan felt but make it just a little bigger so when you glue it to the felt you can cover the edges.

To make it curve a bit I darted it by making little triangular snips and then gluing those edges together.

Next I took my razor and made 2 slits to pull my pipe cleaner antennae through.

You can either glue the base of your head piece directly to the felt strip on the underside of your wings or you can do another velcro attachment.

Little Extras

I decided to forgo a stinger since my dog has a tail but if yours is lacking in the posterior region I would suggest another foam piece like the one for the antennae but jutting out from the back stripe and just one slit for anothe pipe cleaner to be the stinger.

To make the legs stand out a bit more I took small yellow pom poms and glued them to the front legs to look like bits of pollen (I had flashes of the bee scene in "Honey I Shrunk the Kids").

Final Product

Abbey Bee is ready even though as you can tell she's going to have to warm up a bit to her costume. Happy Halloween!